Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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