I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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