That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize