508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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