I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
