Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
