She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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