Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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