it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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