I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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