You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
someone get that fucking seahorse.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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