how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
