just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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