Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
