**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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