is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You took a bar mat shot.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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