it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just pee around me
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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