Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
