3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
