I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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