He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
soo... how was my night?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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