Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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