Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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