Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
