just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
