I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
