I puked a lego.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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