just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
