So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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