The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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