I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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