JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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