What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
