tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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