for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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