She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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