Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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