he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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