what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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