Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
