i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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