your parents love me but you hate me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it was like eating out sand paper
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
