Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
