VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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