your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
