its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
