dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I cut my penus on the lid.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
