why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
