you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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