If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
how do flat chested girls get laid?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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