Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
