After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
