Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We just shotgunned beers for America
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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