why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
