he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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