Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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