I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I could make wine with my vomit
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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