That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
