the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
