so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
