I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
