seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
