he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
