I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
false alarm, still single
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
